When I first connected with my partner they would regularly say, “Life is a funky shape.” I liked this phrase so much I started repeating it to myself when things felt a little different than I would like. It would help me settle into moments that felt like they should be different. (But different according to what?)
The phrase reminds me of the Buddha’s first noble truth: There is suffering.
Which is, by the way, the correct translation. Not that *life* is suffering, but that simply it exists. Actually, if we look at the word that is used in Sanskrit (dukkha) it really translates better to an offness. Like, eh, something here isn’t quite right.
Like many of you, I have been conditioned to strive for perfection. Perfection within myself and in my environment. However, I know that “perfection” is a bizarre yet haunting concept humans made up. It’s not even the same from culture to culture. It doesn’t even exist in some cultures. Some might go as far to say that everything as it is, is already perfection.
As I scroll through social media and see perfectly curated lives and perfectly worded answers to everything, my mind molds itself to what it sees. That’s what brains do. When we observe something for long enough we become like it. I find that my anxiety and anger start to increase. There’s so much to do, so much to see, so much to fix, and so much to achieve. (But is there really?)
Maybe I don’t consciously think these thoughts, but I can feel them permeating into my being. Exacerbating the offness I feel. Growing more uncomfortable in my skin, on this earth.
I have taken a step back to sit with what is coming up. It can be intense, messy, painful. I have opened up space to accept what is happening with in me. To listen to it, to hold it the best I can. I have been sitting quietly in nature. Watching how everything unfolds, with little input from me.
From what I can tell, both in my personal experience and learning from wise elders, life just keeps happening and that includes the “good” and the “bad.” There is no sterile, static plateau to get to. Would we even want to?
Accidents are going to happen. Friendships can become complicated. People will get sick. Sometimes there’s a pebble in our shoe. Maybe the chair is a little uncomfortable. I’ve experienced a lot of beauty in my life, goddess bless, but I can’t say that any of it was “perfect.”
With all this, it seems like one of the best things we can do is accept what is. This doesn’t mean accepting poor conditions for ourselves, but it also doesn’t mean ignoring them either. The more we can sit with what is, the more we can open to the present moment. In this place we can love ourselves more, let ourselves be fully human. From this place we can actually see more the reality of our situation.
Maybe, in accepting that life is a funky shape, we actually allow for the opportunity to change. Natural, organic change. Out of compassionate observation negative habit patterns start to subside. There’s just nothing sticky for them to grasp onto anymore.
However, being attached to a certain outcome and avoiding what is, we remain ignorant of who we are and where we are. More attachment, more aversion, more ignorance. Each cycle grows deeper.
What would happen if you let go of your ideas of right and wrong for a moment? What would happen if you dropped into the pace of nature? What if, just for today, you let yourself be whatever you are, wherever you are?
Sometimes “doing” is actually not the best answer. This offness, this funkiness, can push us to seek some sort of relief. We rush to scratch the itch. We want to feel at peace.
But maybe the relief is in rest, in letting go. What happens if we become curious instead of seeking an answer? Tolerating the unknown, the discomfort for a bit.
Life is funky, we are funky. There is no way around it. Although, we may be able to grow a little wiser, a little kinder, a little more loving and tolerant through all of it.