It's that time again, where many folks are feeling the itch to hit the restart button on their lives. Resolutions are set, diets are underway, detoxes and cleanses are on our minds.
I know that feeling all too well. In the past, I felt like if I could just scrub myself clean of all the "toxins," nab a new hairstyle, lose weight, and redo my wardrobe then perhaps my whole life could change. That I would feel at peace with myself. The unknown pit in my stomach would no longer plague me. If only the toxins could go.
But I know now that this is not really how we change. Detoxes are actually more harmful than good -- the body is already a natural detoxifying system. We cannot safely lose 10 pounds in one week, as much as we might try. Hairstyles, clothes, and everything we can buy on the internet will not bring lasting happiness.
But change is possible. It's actually the only constant. It's what is happening all of the time.
It seems the real way to lasting, positive change is by using our gentle, loving awareness to cultivate the conditions for those changes we want to see.
That article I linked to earlier includes the real, science-based solutions to detox. What did they list? Sleep and water. So gentle, yet so effective. If you want to be more healthy, slowly introduce the conditions for health in ways that feel good to you. This article on 10 exercise myths may help. If you love to dance take up dancing, if you love the outdoors then commit to a hike each week. Ask yourself -- is it health that you seek? Or is it the type of body that advertisers are trying to sell to you? Which do you think will make you *actually* happy?
If it is peace or contentment that you want, uncover what it is that creates those conditions. Where were you last when you felt really happy? How do you want to feel a year from now? If you had one year left on this earth, what would you want to spend it doing?
To help further, there are plenty of studies on what actually makes us happy as opposed to what we have been told makes us happy. Harvard just completed an 80 year study and the biggest key factor in happiness is good relationships.
Unfortunately, though, we've been taught that quickness is what we should pursue. That sacrifice and struggle is what pays off. That we should prioritize work and material possessions over relationships and play. We've been told from the jump that we are not good enough. That we have to earn our keep on this planet. But this is not the truth.
What is the truth? That we were born to a planet that we are intrinsically part of, among living things which we are delicately interconnected with. There is no such thing as "good enough." There is no finish line to get to. Most of what we work for, we've made up. So what kind of future do you want to dream into being?
To do this, we can look into the garden of our minds and see which flowers we would like to see grow. Which ones we would like to see wither away, to turn into fertilizer for the rest. No part of us needs to be "killed off" or carved out or shamed for being there. It's not your fault about what was handed down to you. It's just up to you, and those around you, to help create something new.
So my wish for you in 2022 is that you do find the changes you seek, but that you are gentle with yourself in the process. I know it is possible to feel contented and at peace, even after decades of anxiety, depression, and unease.
Change is possible. It's happening all of the time. We just have to pay attention and keep nurturing the future that we want.