*This week I have included some links to what I’ve been reading and watching that have moved me in some way. Make sure to scroll all the way down to check it out.

I found myself on the couch journaling this morning, a practice that mysteriously dwindled when I was on social media and bounced back after leaving.

When I was a senior in college I started keeping a journal regularly, after a lifetime of trying. My thinking was that so much was happening in my life that I wanted to remember it. So every Sunday evening I would sit down and record the previous week’s events.

Over time, more and more of my personal thoughts and reflections started to find themselves on these pages. Eventually, my journal would become the place where I could work out what I was going through, vent my frustrations, and even record the psychic visions I was downloading. It is a practice that I cherish and which has aided me in profound personal development.

Today I started reflecting on my journey back to my spiritual practice in a more dedicated way. It may come as a surprise to you, but for the past few years, I took self-improvement off the table. I stopped trying to dig around for what might be hidden in my subconscious. My guides, coming through another medium, had urged me to. And they were right.

I needed to embody all of the lessons I had learned and really just try to live life for the first time.

What I wrote in my journal this morning was,

“Before, I think I was trying too hard to make myself perfect and in the process was actually bypassing my life. It was good to drop the digging and perfection-seeking. I became really embodied and corporeal and that is beautiful and good. But I have now swung too deeply into the materialst-capitalist space and my life has felt a bit more hollow because of it. So now I am going to return back to some gentle ‘self-improvement.’ Or maybe I should say Self-uncovering.”

Thank goddess for space and time, for grace from the unseen realms. I have been diving back into my spiritual books, specifically, I’m currently re-reading The Shambhala Guide to Yoga by Georg Feuerstein. In it, I am reminded that yoga is just the journey of the Self through the self to the Self.

While reading a few days ago, I wrote down this quote:

“This is indeed the greatest message of all forms of Yoga: Happiness is our essential nature, and our perpetual quest for happiness is only fulfilled when we realize who we truly are.”

I appreciate the work my younger self did and how sincerely she dove into undoing the harmful patterns she was taught. But part of that was also releasing the idea that she’s not already perfect. And letting go of the oftentimes harsh intensity with which she sought liberation.

Now is the time to love myself into my Self.

Can’t rip the skin off the snake, or force the butterfly out of the cocoon. It just happens when it happens.

However, there is something to holding a gentle intention in your heart. An energetic anchor point for your life to wrap itself around.

So I’ll return to that and see what fruit it bears.

A little something I wrote a couple of years ago:

you’ve been trying to be perfect
the whole time
missing
that you already are
drop into your
tender heart
remember
that you belong
here
there are no
accidents
and we are all
stumbling
human beings
there’s no right way
to do this
and
there’s nowhere
to go
this is your time
this is the great
undoing
a natural state of flow
a deep appreciation
a tender curiosity
the ancient terror
dissolves
revealing the altar
dawn’s breath
moon leaves
liquid light
it is you
it has always
been
you

What I’ve been reading/seeing/hearing:

There have been many studies done on meditation but it’s slim when it comes to psychics. I enjoyed this video of two doctors being blown away by what they found in psychic medium Tyler Henry’s brain.
It took 2500 years for science to explain what the Buddha said about meditation. Now it’s starting to explore how Reiki and other psychic phenomena are happening.
I have to say I know I’m late to watching the Rick Rubin 60 Minutes interview, but I’m a little hesitant to watch two white guys talk. I loved being proved wrong, this guy really is on some other level and I appreciate his approach to the world.
Have you heard of the website Reasons to Be Cheerful? There’s so much good going on in the world but it generally doesn’t motivate us to buy things so we don’t hear about them from advertising-based organizations. Learn more here!
My partner turned me on to Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ new podcast called Wiser Than Me. She interviews women older than herself to ask questions about life. I really enjoyed it and I hope you do too.
Finally, I was interviewed on a podcast a few weeks ago and I’m so excited to share it with you here, now! Karen Rowland of HUSH Providence invited me on to chat about Reiki, meditation, trauma, neuroscience, and there’s even a loving-kindness meditation at the end. Check it out and let me know what you think.